The Vision is for an Appointed Time

I wrote this draft November 19th, 2013. I never posted it. For whatever reason. So here. It blessed me to read this. Especially since Jeff didn't get a pay check this past week bc of my hospital stay. It reminds me just how faithful my God is!



I have to journal about this house. A couple weeks prior to us getting pre-approved to buy a house, I kept getting emails about mortgage loans. I was getting mail from in my mail box and even Facebook updates about mortgage loans (pre-qualifying to be more specific). So as I saw the number 23 more and more than ever, I thought "Why not? Let's see where we are."  Fast forward a couple of weeks:  We were approved at way more than we wanted so, for giggles, we decided to go look at a few homes. After looking at several houses we talked and decided not to put any offers down and to wait to buy a house and pay off debt. We owed my dad $2,000 so we decided it made more sense to stay put. I told Jeff, my mom, Lisa, and Zack this: "If we could get into a house paying $300 more than we are paying now and it doesn't cost anything to move, why not buy?" Well, after looking at a house that had been on Zillow for one day, we knew it was "the" house. After looking at the house twice, we put in an offer. I got a call back two days later saying they accepted our offer! They didn't counter offer. And better yet- they agreed to pay all closing costs! WOW!! They have even agreed to give us all mineral rights. They are even breaking contract with the oil company to put it in our name! Now, let me tell you a little about this house. It is EVERY THING we prayed for. It is a brick home sitting on almost 2 acres. It has pecan trees (I prayed for trees in our yard). It has 3 bedrooms and an "extra" room. It has a laundry room and a huge kitchen, a fire place and a shop for Jeff. God. Is. Good. I mean, really good! He didn't give us three out of five things we asked for- He gave it all! Just as His Word says! He said He wants to give us exceeding abundant more than we could dream or imagine (Ephesians 3:20). He said in Habakkuk 2:3 (notice the 23?) to write our visions down- the visions were for an appointed time and though they may tarry, when they come, they will tarry not. Which is why Feb.17th of this year...I wrote my vision down. And look at God. Look at what He has done! I did the math and after saving $100 on our auto insurance, it will only costs us $245.00 more a month than what we are paying now in rent. GLORY! And our mortgage at our new house, will be less than we were paying in KY for more land and a bigger house. So, every single tear I shed, every single time I wondered why...it all came down to this. God was waiting to give us the perfect home, at the perfect time, at the perfect price. And as an extra bonus, a couple of weeks ago I prayed for either a free washer and dryer or a cheap one b/c ours sounds like a jet plane taking flight...and yes...the house has one that is staying. A little older model...but who's complaining?! To God be the Glory for all good things come from Him.

My sweetest Lord,

     I just want to say thank you. I am in complete awe of You. I sit here at the end of November reflecting on this past year. One year ago, we were coming into the holidays with no money. So broke that my friends were, in fact, blessing us financially to pay our bills. We were struggling to pay Gavin's tuition when in December I got a note from the school that said I had forgotten to pay his November tuition. Jeff's hours were cut back for the holidays and here we were paying two mortgages, tuition, and two households. It was a long year. Facing each financial challenge and losing my best friend...my grandmother. Can I just say this? "Look at the difference a year makes!" This November we sit here...waiting to close on the house we prayed for. We don't pay tuition because someone (anonymously) paid Gavin's tuition in full this year, I got a babysitting job that will pay our new mortgage and my dad wrote off the money we owed him to pay off the house we took a loss on. I am in complete awe. Lord, someone told me "what a testimony. You were so faithful," but the real fact is Lord, You are faithful to us! Your Word says that if we honor you with the tenth, you will open the windows of heavens and bless your people that we would not have room to contain it (Malachi 3:10). Well, you did just that. I feel like I need an umbrella because the blessings are raining down! Your mercy truly humbles me. And I ask that you forgive me for ever wondering "why" or forever ever thinking..."I am paying my tenth, what is the hold up?" Lord, you don't owe me anything, yet you gave me everything. I love you and thank you for your promises. But the greatest gain I ever received during this season was my walk with you. And for that, it was all worth it.

Amen.

 

 

 

Dear Lord

Since I created this blog as an alternative to journal I am going to do just that. Journal. I have had a very long week and it is just Tuesday, so instead of a hand cramp, I am typing to you. I know you said to make our alms in secret, but seeing my one follower is my best friend, I feel I can be candid.

Dear Lord,

  I am worn out. I have felt that with Jeff gone, the house not selling, the dishes, the laundry, and the kids whining and rebellion that I am done. Put a fork in it. I want to walk away, throw in the towel, give up and move on. I sat and cried out to you the other day with tears streaming down my face. I have walked this faith walk claiming our house sold for almost two years now. What am I missing?!!  Lord, I felt that every worldly thought man has given me was advice I should have taken. I felt that I have missed my blessing being too focused on you performing some miracle. Isn't that the God you are?! A super natural, miracle performing God? The enemy has found a home in my head this past week and he set up camp as I rolled round in the misery he brings: the kids rebellion, whining, house not selling, and every other ill thought. It has set me on "crazy mode" and it won't turn off. Then, in the mist of this storm- add a day of vomiting (food poisoning, I suppose) to that already overwhelming feeling of I am drowning. It. keeps. getting. worse.

But then.... Lord, you show up. Even though I have hit crazy mode and convinced myself I have failed at motherhood and felt my faith walk was in vain (I mean obviously I am doing something wrong or my prayer would be answered by know, right?) you give me grace. You give me a Word in due season. I was on empty and You filled me up. I was drowning and You gave me a life preserver.  I am reminded that every strong hold- is in my mind. I am reminded that you do perform miracles because you paid our son's tuition this year!  Lord, you said that "so a man thinketh, is he." I have allowed the enemy to convince me that I was a bad mother. I have allowed my vision of selling our house to become nothing but a "has been hope." What was I thinking?! I seriously wonder if you ever go "when will she get it? She is having to start all over again." Lord, I am praying for you to forgive me for my unbelief. Praying you would seek my heart and forgive me of what I know is not there that may be blocking my blessing. I pray that you break down every strong hold that governs my mind and thank you that you DO want to prosper us. Lord, forgive me for not putting you on a platform you can perform on and thank you for the renewal of my faith. Lord, you said that "faith is the substance of thing hoped for and evidence of things unseen." Now all I have to say to that old serpent, is get thee behind me, Satan!! I am a good mom- I am the daughter of the King of Kings.  I am royal priesthood and I have been given the abundant life and our house is SOLD! Yes, I fail, and yes I may fall, but I will get back up and ride this faith walk out until I get what I have asked. Time. And time again. Your Word says to "knock and the door will open." I have been knocking and now I expect (to hope) the door to open. I hope (to expect) to hear from you. I expect great and exceeding abundant and I pray that you would give me your heart, Lord, so that I may walk in your ways with purpose. I love you and thank you that your mercies are new EVERY DAY! Thank you that I am made new in you today, Lord. I love you and thank you for your living Word. Kingdom come!!!! Amen!

Independence Day 2013- Creole style

This was the second time, since being married, we weren't able to spend the forth of July with Jeff.  He was recently relocated to a job that is ten hours away some where in Texas. =( The kids and I embarked on my first ever "road trip" or at least half way we were alone. I had the privilege of taking my uncle Russ to the "Big Easy" aka "NOLA" and we stayed with our dear friends a few days before we came back home.

Here is a little snap shot of my patriotic duo before we left on our trip!

Uncle Russ and I always have fun on our trips. There is good conversation and good laughs. The last trip we took together, we made plenty of funny memories as we whipped our heads and "caught" the person driving next to us looking at us. This time- we had Ruth. Baby Ruth. Layla's beloved "baby."  She looks so real when we take her places that people actually think I am irresponsibly lugging a child around. So I held her as I drove and Uncle Russ bounced her on his knee." It's OK Ruth. We got cha!"  Yes, we looked like the worse parents ever. And No. It wasn't responsible. But hey, life is short. Laugh a little. =)

 

(Hey, don't judge)

                                                             
We got to New Orleans with little time to enjoy the quarter.  So Uncle Russ, the kids, and I took a quick stroll through down town and then he caught the Mega Bus home. Pretty cool ride back home to Mobile for $17.00, I say! I sure hate to see him go. He is SO much fun and it was nice to have family here for a while. Much love to ya, Uncle!

(Can you see Uncle Russ riding shot gun, top level?!)

 

 

Dwayne and Annette treated me to Drago's Seafood while their girls kept the kids (I only had to bribe Layla with candy).  And let me just say- the charbroiled oysters were a buttery, charbroiled delight! Can we say YUM!!?!!

(LOVE this couple)

We also made a trip to uptown NOLA and got to visit with (Jeff's) Aunt Carol. She is so much fun and such a pleasure to be around. I am blessed to know her and get to be a part of her life. The kids adore her as well. Gavin caught lizards (imagine that) at her house. Then, we had a quick, sit down lunch at her house and then made a trip to Sucre' with Melissa and Charles. A little scoop of heaven in a small, flower shaped bowl! I will have to say that while the ice cream and melted Smores cake was a delight, one of my favorite things was people watching and the culture. Everything in NOLA is unique. From the shops, to the people, to the sidewalks, to the bus benches, to the trolley, to the electrical poles. Yes, electrical poles. Check this out.

(In case you can't tell what this is- that is LAYERS of old signs, staples, and nails)

 

 ("You are in Saints Country" says the sign behind me

and Gavin- well, enough said)

("Red Beans, Pinball Machines, Chicory Coffee, and Hoodoo Queens.

File Gumbo and Pralines. Everything's Hot Down in New Orleans")

(Even the stop signs have character!)

 I didn't get a chance to snap a picture of Layla stuffing beads up her shorts at Sucre. But hey, we were in the "Big Easy" after all.

 

We ended our trip with a crawfish boil! Such a Cajun way to say good bye. Gavin even ate a few handfuls of them. He peeled them and everything! * Proud moment * Dwayne and Annette are so good  great to us. I feel like I am living like a Cajun queen while I am there.

(Davin and Gavin- best buds-grubbing down. And Pie in the middle)

I could go on and on about how much fun we had. Such as how much joy I had in watching Gavin catch all the tree frogs suctioned to the Burke house. Or how he spent his days scooping out whatever he could catch in a net from the canal. Or the kids playing at the neighborhood park... and visiting with extended family (bc the good Lord allowed us to cross paths), or walking up and down Magazine Street with family, and snapping pictures of Café Du Monde coffee and Mardi Gras masks in a souvenir shop with a great Uncle, or enjoying family (where nothing has to be said to laugh). God has blessed me with the best friends and family- both near and far- and my life is so rich because of it!

 

We missed you, Jeff! Love you!

 

Bye-Bye Diaper Days!

 I have not kept a journal...a blog...a notepad..or index cards of Layla's milestones. I find my self being too with Jeff working 14-18 hours days to remember to sit down and right a few things down. Things I think I will never forget have somehow hit the delete button in my brain. So! Here I am- to officially type it in text that: our little lady is fully potty trained!!! Last night marked night four of her sleeping in panties. I am super, over enthusiastic about this! She insisted on wearing panties to bed a few nights back and we haven't looked back since. I promised myself that with kid #2- I was NOT using Pull Ups. And where I would like to take credit for some of this- she was just an easy one to potty train. So, for you Miss Layla: Once you got it- you GOT it! You are two years and 7 months old.

This comes with me feeling a little sad for her big brother. At a little over a month away from him being seven- he is still wearing Pull-Ups to bed (with no dry nights). After a few medications, a trip to the pediatrician, and another trip to the urologist- they tell me we will revisit it when he is 8. I am praying God will allow his bladder and developmental skills to function as He designed them. I am also feeling that surgery may be needed. I believe he doesn't empty properly because of the frequent urination. And I am sure his "ADHD" (which I don't claim either) plays a big role in it. I will say this: the more I have opened up to talking to other moms about it- the more I hear how common it is. And recently I had a conversation with a lady who had a ten year old who still wet the bed. What it doesn't help with  is Gavin's embarrassment to wear the Pull-Ups to bed. He tells me a lot of nights "I don't want to wear a Pull-Up, I know God will bless me." I know God hears his perfect, little prayers. We will pray this thing through!

I know I speak for both Jeff and I when I say, "I am so proud of our children." They hold the future and I can't wait to experience all the milestones of life with them!

The Bread of Life

If old men will dream dreams and young men will dream visions, then I am seeing something. What is that you may ask? The bigger picture! A few nights ago (on April 11th, 2013 to be exact) I was literally woken up from my sleep. I felt as though my thoughts were speaking out loud to me. I know we, Christians, know that God paid the ultimate price for us, but to be honest: sometimes it's so hard for me to wrap my head around that whole idea. Not in a sense as I don't believe it, but in a sense as really grasping what God did for ME (and all of you as believers).

 Before bed, I baked some zucchini bread. Layla and Gavin's favorite! They love it! So much in fact, that they ate so much that evening it ended up being their dinner. Hey, if it's good enough for breakfast, then it's good enough for dinner! ;) Afterwards, it was our usual bedtime routine and then it was off to bed.

At sometime in the early morning hours (I want to say it was 1:30 a.m.) I was told this: "Just as you made the zucchini bread and did all the work to prepare it and bake it, and just as your children got to enjoy the bread, so did I for you. " It literally woke me up from my sleep. I woke up with such clarity. My children did absolutely nothing to help me make that bread. However, they got to enjoy all the benefits of it! God did the same thing for us! He paid the price and bore our sins and we get to enjoy the benefits of it!

The next morning, I began reflecting on it. I began to think about how I am God's child. God cares about me the same way I care about my children. He wants me to partake in happy, healthy living; just as it makes me happy to give to our children and want to see them happy. Jesus paid it all. He did all the work, he paid the price and here we are, as believers, getting to reap the benefits of it! And the amazing thing is, he used a loaf of zucchini bread to bring this revelation to me! God can truly use anything to bring Him glory! Never before has John 6:35 been so literal. "And Jesus said to them, I am the bread of life: he that comes to me shall never hunger, and he that believes on me shall never thirst." I am so honored to have heard from Him.
 And he said unto them "He that hath ears to hear, let him hear." Mark. 4:9

Waiting to Bloom

  Hello, blogger(s)! All one of you who follow my page. Ha! It's been a while since I have last blogged. But my one follower, who happens to be one of my best friends, has convinced me to write again. I use to write poems and such, but lately I have been journaling (but I must I will say that the pen and paper can leave my hand cramping). And speaking of blogs, the Lord lead me to an acquaintance's blog and it was so encouraging to read her candid thoughts about how her not so perfect life was playing out. Seeing her on the other side of that season in her life gave me hope. It also made me want to start blogging so I can read about the seasons in my life later. Right now, we are still in a season of waiting. Where we are very planted and we are feeding the soil and watering our spiritual walk, and praying...waiting on the harvest.
  Nothing put that into perspective better than today. Today, God gave me a revelation. A simple yet strong revelation. About a month ago, I planted some tomato plants. I bought cheap soil because...well...we aren't exactly "rollin' in the dough" or anything, but none the less, I planted them. I have been watering them and the cheap soil was DRINKING up the water. And I noticed today that little yellow flowers were on the plants!  They will miraculously transform in little tiny tomatoes and grow until we are ready to eat them! And here is what God gave me: These plants grow towards the sun. Just as we do. God created every living thing under the sun to need light and water to grow. Just as we lean into the Son of Man and water our spirit, it grows. And in due season, we will reap the benefits of the time we spent nurturing what we planted. And when we are planted...God can bless that. That means we are rooted in His word. And what's even more awesome, is it doesn't matter what "soil" or "condition" you are in. Even the best of soil can't make it through a drought if it isn't watered at some point. And doesn't it seem that we are so thirsty for God when we are in such need of Him? Soaking up every one of His promises because we are so thirsty for Him. Just like the cheap soil. It needed more water than the other "expensive" soil. So, I will keep on waiting, watering, and feeding on God's Word. He will surely bring fruit in due season.

(And just for my own reference- this "season" of my life has us at over a year and a half waiting on our house in KY to sale. We have only had two offers. And after both counter offers, we have heard nothing back from either one. I guess the only thing left to do is wait. And water.  And feed on God's Word until the right buyer comes).